Saturday, May 12, 2012


I asked my dear wife, Tina Su Cooper, whether a man should buy a Mother’s Day card for his wife, the mother of their children. It got me thinking more about the question of who should buy one for whom.

Naturally, I bought a Mother’s Day card for my own mother, now 95 and living with us. If Tina’s mom were still alive, she would certainly have gotten one, too.

My mother got a M. Day card from two of her grandchildren. The card was specifically designed to be given to Grandma. We get cards from this family for many occasions. Perhaps they like sending cards; perhaps they hope to be remembered in our wills; perhaps….

My sister bought a card to be given to my wife on M. Day, to be signed by my sister and my mother. “She’s not my mother” was my own mother’s comment, though she loves my wife deeply. [Mom is Old School.] True enough, but the opportunity to send something warm to a heroic, quadriplegic sister-in-law and daughter-in-law trumped cold, rational analysis. Sentiment prevailed.

A former nurse of ours sent Tina a Mother’s Day card, lovingly inscribed, happily received. She had adapted a “Thinking of You” card, appropriately enough.

I guess you can send a card to any woman who is a mother, if you wish. “You don’t have to be a reindeer to send out Christmas cards” I commented. I liked the sound of it. The Hallmark Card Company would agree. Many cards cost about as much as a paperback book, and they later take up space in one’s correspondence file, yet are frequently too pretty fo throw away. I save the best ones, especially those with extended comments.

My dear spouse’s answer to my question about a husband’s sending his wife such a card was, “Do whatever you want.” I knew what that meant. Listening between the lines, I bought a beautiful one for her. Few deserve it more.

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