Friday, October 26, 2012


Joe Bucca was the most “well-endowed” kid in the neighborhood. No, I wasn't "squattin' on the nail", we all knew that because we used to go swimming buck-naked in the Madison Square Boys Club pool. When Bucca jumped up and down on the diving board, his schlong slapped his stomach red. Sorta' like when the vacuum hose gets away from ya'.

One day, just as he got on the diving board, Lefty Antonacci walked in. As Bucca started jumping, Lefty's head started going up and down in unison to Bucca's Johnson. He looked like he was laying down sideways watchin' a ping-pong game. Lefty was a little bit beyond "bi-curious", he was on dick. The Boys Club used to have something called “sleep-outs.” In the summer you can sign up with your group of friends to pitch tents on the Boys Club roof, roast marshmallows, play games, shoot the shit and sleep out. The kids loved when it rained the day before the sleep-out because the roof would turn into a mini-lake and we’d take row boats out and act like we were “Crossing the Delaware.”

One steamy city night, most of the kids went to sleep in their assigned tents, but a few of us remained around the fireplace. Someone looked over and saw Johnny Bane sleeping with his head sticking out of the tent and his mouth wide open. Now, Johnny was a tough, macho kid and, like most of us back then, would be considered homophobic.

From the mischievous minds of miscreants materialized a plan to take one of the long forks we were using to roast marshmallows, wet the handle a little, walk over to the tent where Johnny Bane was sleeping, have Bucca stand over him with his schlong out, gently stick the wet handle in and out of Johnny’s mouth and when he woke up we would all start yellin’, “you sucked his cock, you sucked his cock!”

It took us some time to assure Bucca that nothing would happen to him because as soon as Johnny got up to attack him, we would grab him and convince him we put Bucca up to it. Well, we did just that with one exception...when Johnny woke up and saw that long fireman’s cap dangling over his head, he jumped up so fast none of us had time to react, and he started chasing Bucca around the roof. We were running behind Johnny but were laughin’ so hard we couldn’t catch up to him. He caught up to Bucca and started beatin’ the shit outta’ him before we could pull him off and calm him down. 


From Disorganized Crime, published 2012 by Mountain Lion Productions,
written by Sonny Patini, Distributors sought.  

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