Saturday, March 30, 2013

THE SHIELD OF GOLD, "No Money, Just Meat"

Since we started out, our firm has handled hundreds of cases, many fairly routine, some rather unusual.


One day, a very large, gruff-talking man came to our office and plunked down an armload of steaks, shrimp, lobster, and lamb chops. Before he told us what he wanted, he made his financial terms clear, “no money, just meat.”


Actually, this big, boisterous, Danny-DeVito-type guy, twice DeVito’s size, said to me, “I got no money, just meat…and looking at you, you look like you eat meat.” He didn’t have to be a detective to figure that one out, as I had added at least a few pounds since leaving the NYPD.


As you might guess, he was a butcher. His wife was carving him up in their divorce battle, and she was trying to get even more money from him by claiming to be too disabled to work to help support herself. He knew she was faking. He needed us to demonstrate that to the court.


Well, it was more meat than I needed, certainly, but the case was interesting, and we took it.


The next court date for the hearing on the divorce was only a couple of days away, and our challenge was how to show that his wife was lying, if so.


The day of the hearing, I got to the place where she was living with her new love, and I watched the front door to observe them, coming out to go to court. Her claim had been that she needed a walker or cane or crutches to get around, and therefore was very limited in what work she might be able to do.


It was 7:30 in the morning when I observed her and recorded her, as she came out of the door, walking normally, followed by her boyfriend, who was carrying the crutches. The woman went down the stairs without the crutches, which the boyfriend tossed into the back seat of the car, as she walked nimbly to the car and got in. They drove off, and I followed.


When they got to the courthouse, it was a different story. The boyfriend took out the crutches, and the woman came out of the car, put the crutches under her arms and limped up to the courthouse, looking like she was in quite a lot of pain. I recorded it all.


On my cell phone I called my client’s attorney, who was in the courthouse, and I told him what I had on video, suggesting he have the hearing suspended to the afternoon so that we could present the video to the judge. That is exactly what happened.


When the judge saw the video, our client won the case. The butcher was pleased, so pleased that his thanks to us ended with, “Want any more meat?” We passed.


THE SHIELD OF GOLD, by Lenny Golino and Douglas Winslow Cooper, is a memoir published by Outskirts Press, available from OP and from and in paperback and ebook versions.

More about Lenny Golino at .

More about Douglas Winslow Cooper at .

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