If you are like me, you are exposed to many advertisements and emails offering to tell you, for a fee, how to get rich quick. My free advice comes without charge.
I’ve got nothing against getting rich, and quicker is better. I’ve decided to tell you how to double your cash in a day and to offer to sell you my special course on quadrupling your cash that same day.
First, though, I must offer the usual disclaimers: past performance is no guarantee of future results, and you should consult your own financial advisor if you are not sure you understand the method, its potential, and its risks.
The method need not take a whole day, but I’ll assume it will take you that long to reach and return from a place that offers high-stakes roulette, like Atlantic City or Las Vegas.
When you get there, spend about half an hour watching the roulette wheel. If black numbers come up surprisingly often, much more than half the time, then eventually you are going to bet on black, as in the expression “being in the black.” Conversely, if the machine shows some strong preference for the red numbers, go with the red. Do not accept the fallacy of “the maturity of the odds,” which would indicate that seeing lots of reds mean a black is overdue. No, unless the wheel is askew, black and red should each be the result about half the spins, except for those pesky green values 0 and 00.
You are about ready to take the opportunity to double your money. Put it all on black or all on red, preferably when some other big bettor is taking the other color, so the house has no incentive to cheat, if it could. Approximately half the time, you will win (except for 0 and 00 results). Stop right there, collect your money, and you will have doubled it. Walk out and do not return.
If you should happen to have invested in the wrong color and lost, you can treat this as a valuable lesson, perhaps deductible as a business educational expense.
Yes, it is possible to gamble on the stock market, taking options, perhaps highly leveraged, and doubling your money if the market goes up that day as you predict (if you are a bull) rather than down or if it goes down (if you are a bear) as you predict, but the odds are not nearly so clear as they are with roulette.
Normally, this kind of appeal would have testimonials from successful practitioners of my method. Since I have just announced it, however, there has not been time for the successes to mount up and happy users to write glowing reports. If there were to be some who did not find success with my method and if they were churlish enough to write unpleasant comments, I would try to be man enough to include them, also. We rarely do see such negative reports printed, however.
For a limited time, those of you who contact me will be given the opportunity to register for my somewhat expensive course on quadrupling your money in one day. [Hint: it may involve betting twice in a row at roulette.]
“He must be kidding,” some of you will respond. You’d be correct.