Her Aunt Lila Said What to the Waiter?

My writing partner, Kathy Blake Shields, has submitted her manuscript for publication by Outskirts Press. The book, Home is Where the Story Begins: A Memoir of a Happy Childhood, will be published in 2015. It has many humorous and insightful anecdotes. Three more stories about her aunt Lila she just recently related to me, too late to publish. Here they are:

Aunt Lila was taken out to a fancy restaurant in our neighborhood. She was served the usual courses: salad, entrée, soup, dessert. She was not wholly pleased, however. She called the waiter over and said to him, "Tell the chef that I make my soup at home just like he made this, but I add only one can of water."

Not-so-lovable Aunt Lila watched the firemen attack with hoses and axes a fire that had started in her house. She was unhappy with their methods. She told the Chief, "You can stop what you're doing now, and I'll save the foundation."

Even Aunt Lila’s parrot was hard to get along with, although---like Lila---it would greet her guests with “hello.” Lila's niece, Pamela, would stick her finger in the bird’s cage, then withdraw it quickly before the irritated parrot could bite it. Aunt Lila warned Pamela that one day she would be a little too slow or the parrot a little too fast. Not long after, that day came. Pamela, bitten, screamed. Then came another sound: Aunt Lila's parrot actually laughed! Eventually, the parrot was given away, having embarrassed Aunt Lila one too many times, in the presence of company, with words that had it had learned from a previous owner, a laborer on the railroad.


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From Home is Where the Story Begins: Memoir of a Happy Childhood, by Kathy Blake Shields, to be published by Outskirts Press as a paperback book and distributed by OP and amazon.com and bn.com and other on-line booksellers.

I coached and edited. See http://writeyourbookwithme.com