The Book Doggy service attractively allows authors to promote their books at discounted prices.
I used it recently for How to Manage Nursing Care at Home, on sale at Amazon.
https://bookdoggy.com/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=free_sci_fi_womens_fiction_short_story_romance_ebooks_for_wed_dec_27th&utm_term=2017-12-27
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
Thursday, December 21, 2017
More RETIREMENT? NO. REFIREMENT!
Section 9
‘Retirement, a time to do what you want to
do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and, how you want to do
it.’
Catherine
Pulsifer
GEOGRAPHIC FREEDOM
Environment is important. Retirees reporting
the greatest satisfaction tended to live in places with the following:
● Housing
with low maintenance costs.
● Easy
accessibility to hospitals, shopping and recreation centres.
● Very
secure neighbourhoods with no need for elaborate security precautions.
● A
sense of community and connectedness.
● Availability
of affordable internet.
A word of warning about emigration; what retirees need least is isolation and exclusion.
Retirement in itself can bring shocks that are
difficult to prepare against and has to be eased into gradually. Moving to
another country has to be one of the biggest life choices a person can make,
and should not be made so soon after retiring.
Along with this, emigrating strips you of some
of the supporting factors of the country you’ve previous lived and worked in,
the benefits of which may not have made themselves apparent in your former life:
the ease in which you communicate, make sense of your immediate environment,
partake in the minor rituals of your society (even those that seem to provide
no purpose.) and casual conversations.
These can be things that might not seem so
important when you go without them for only a week or two, as you would
travelling, but there are special occasions and emergencies that throw a new
perspective onto things.
Your country and community play a big role in
your identity and sense of purpose. Perhaps some individuals would be more
fulfilled away from the country they had become accustomed to, but as a general
rule we would say: ‘By all means travel,
but reconnect to your community!’
FINANCIAL FREEDOM
As company structure becomes more fluid,
responsibility for retirement planning will gradually be transferred to
individuals. This goes hand-in-hand with the autonomy we have gained over our
work.
Calculating Need
Asking ‘How much will I need for retirement?’
is a little like asking ‘How long is a piece of string?’ There is no convenient
figure that we can throw out to you. In this section we will take you through
some calculations to help land you in your own ball-park figure. You’ll need to
consider:
● The
age at which you want to retire.
● The
standard of life you intend to live at, both the baseline amount needed to
continue at that level you are accustomed to, but also a higher, more ideal
number that would allow you new luxuries (travel, hobbies).
● Medical
expenses.
● The
extent of your investments and assets able to generate an income.
● If
you have a company pension plan, obtain an estimate of its value from your plan
provider.
● The
government benefits you are entitled to.
● The
amount that would make you feel comfortably protected from the worst case
scenario.
Spanners
in the Works
Good Habits
Squeezing Pennies
Spanners
in the Works
As we have said (perhaps too many times) over
this guide; the unexpected will happen. When calculating your absolute
baseline, take a second to consider how it would feel if to be confronted with
the following occasions:
● You
are made to retire earlier than you would have chosen for yourself.
● Your
spouse, for whatever reason, is no longer able to work in the capacity he or
she once did.
● Your
health takes a hit, and your medical costs suddenly inflate.
● Your
spouse, or any family member really, hits a significant milestone and you
realise that they deserve spoiling; with something far beyond what they’re used
to.
● You
son/daughter is starting university/getting married/entering the housing
market, but they themselves have a very low income. Subsequently, they plan to
enter the housing market, without a leg to stand on.
● A
secondary income you had relied upon suddenly collapses: The lodger leaves. The
deal falls through.
Spend a second just to ruminate on these. Personalize
them as deeply as you can.
How
would you feel to break the bad news to those close to you?
How
would you feel to be capable of generosity?
Of course - not all of these problems need to
be met by cold hard injections of capital - maybe you have a nimble-minded,
cost-free solution - lucky you! - but
for the most part cash is the most direct answer to these problems.
Good Habits
Perhaps the most important single piece of
advice we could give is this:
Start
now.
|
Those that are most
successful in saving for retirement are those that start early.
|
Decide
a budget and stick to it
|
Targets are important:
especially in areas that boil down to numbers. Be flexible - if the first
number was unfeasible, adjust it. If you falter one month, get back on the
horse the next.
|
Confront
debt
|
Debt is like a cancer
- it grows in the shade. Confronting it is a painful, necessary thing.
|
Create
a steady plan
|
Just as you would
with a diet - adjust to a slow and steady pace that you can tolerate to climb
your way out of your obligations.
|
Automate
it!
|
Go
to your bank and set up an auto-pay into your retirement fund.
Not
just this: set up an auto-pay system that pays money into your retirement
fund as close as possible to you receiving it. And once it’s in there, don’t
touch it.
This
takes away the pressure of remembering and the labour of making the payment,
but it also gets you out of the habit of seeing the ‘spikes’ and ‘dips’ of
your balance, as the money makes its passage. You’re better off not knowing
it was ever there, and readjusting to see whichever number remains as the new
norm.
|
Factor-in
inflation!
|
Assume
an inflation rate of 4%.
|
Assume the worst
|
The
worst feeling in the world is ‘Hmmm, I don’t have as much as I thought….’ Don’t
kid yourself by rounding up your income. Round down your
income, and round up your costs - the remainder will be more
motivational.
|
Squeezing Pennies
Perhaps you haven’t saved.
Perhaps it wasn’t possible to save given your
circumstances.
Perhaps time just slipped from your
fingers.
Or maybe you did everything right, but it didn’t matter this time:
Perhaps life wasn’t fair.
If you’re reading this, chances are you have
lived through an economic recession. The sad fact is that even if you do
everything right, things can still go wrong. We can’t prepare for all
possibilities. We can’t cover all bases and blind-spots - any of us can be hit
hard, seemingly at random.
If you are behind others, you have to make
greater sacrifices. You will have to think outside of the box - and weigh up
some options that may not make you so comfortable - but remember the severity of the alternatives.
In
what ways can you use your existing assets to generate an income? Could you
rent a room of your house?
Consider
Semi-retirement - This needn’t necessarily be in the same
capacity and location of your previous work. You could make use of your
experience and time to work on a freelance basis. (www.elance.com
www.fivver.com
and https://www.freelancer.com are
good starting places or you might place ads in the local newspaper.)
This is the continuation of a serialization of this new ebook on active retirement, by a Ugandan, Petero Wamala, and an American, Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D., which ebook is available through amazon.com for $0.99:
Stop Dating Mr. Wrong
Even some women over 60 have re-entered the dating game, often
after a marriage that ended by death or divorce. They hope to find Mr. Right
and avoid Mr. Wrong. This year, in his 20th book, Weed
Out the Users…, expert relationship counselor Gregg Michaelsen
describes three families of the Wrong clan (Users, Losers, Snoozers), and
contrasts them with Mr. Right, a man you can link up with, if you are at your
best.
THE USER
This con artist will pose as Mr. Right, initially giving
you respect, attention, consideration, perhaps even charming your friends and
family. Your first few dates on the town are followed by excuses to stay in, at
your home or his. He sizes you up with questions that seem attentive but are
calculated to find your vulnerabilities. He’ll continue to date others. You’ll
be asked for favors, but get little in return. Soon, you’ll find he is not
interested in what interests you. His conversation centers on himself.
Eventually, Michaelsen writes, “He doesn’t listen, doesn’t
make plans, and can’t remember your birthday…. He is a narcissist.” The world,
including your world, is to revolve around him.
What should you do? Give him time to expose himself…by his
actions. Slow down the progression of the relationship and try to observe him
objectively. Wait a month or longer before you decide he is worth continuing to
date.
THE LOSER
He sticks around, more parasite than partner. He won’t
commit. Perhaps he’s endured sad break-ups or saw his parents’ marriage fall
apart, or…. Whatever the reason, he may think he wants a committed
relationship, and you may think so, too, but it is not likely to happen.
“Years could go by before you finally realize he is
useless,” Michaelsen writes.
I’m familiar with such a relationship. I advised the lady
in question to clear her decks, open up her dance card, make room for someone
better…she did, and she has found herself a better man. However, she had
“invested” about five years with the loser, mostly a waste of time.
Someone wisely said, “You can’t fly like an eagle if
surrounded by turkeys.”
Even one turkey can take up too much time and energy,
too much psychological “space.”
Michaelsen suggests an observant four-date sequence to find
out what’s true about the man you are dating:
- meet his friends;
- have him meet
with your friends;
- let him drink too much, while you stay sober;
- meet his
family.
Machiavellian? Acid tests? Yes,
but dating is not playing bean-bag. You are weeding, making room in your garden
for the right person.
If you marry a loser, you will lose, too. You’ll be kept
waiting repeatedly. He’ll be lazy and selfish. He may have an ex-something
still in his life. As a lover, he’ll be, well, unexciting, unless stimulated by
porn. Soon, you become an afterthought. When you need him, he’ll be Missing in
Action. Don’t blame him; you’ll only waste your time, as he expertly plays the
Victim.
THE SNOOZER
Don’t despair. Two more types hold promise, the Snoozer,
and Mr. Right. Snoozer can be transformed, trained, to become a Mr. Right.
Basically good, Snoozer needs care and feeding, judicious use of carrot and
stick, and you must present some challenge and mystery.
Michaelsen writes that the snoozers are inconsistent. They
reluctantly and sometimes take responsibility in the relationship. Usually,
they do not carry lots of emotional baggage from the past, and they can be
encouraged to become what you seek, if you identify what needs changing,
inspire change, and support the outcome. You are entering into a period of
wielding carrot and stick, praise for good behavior, withdrawal for bad. Think
of how you’d get a puppy socialized. Effective, if not grand.
However, this seems manipulative. It resembles the adage
that women marry men they hope will change, and men marry women they hope will
not change.
MR. RIGHT
At the top of Michaelson’s list of positive attributes of
Mr. Right: “He takes 100% responsibility…. the opposite of the victim
mentality.” He has goals and plans, enthusiasm, respect for others, reliability…and,
furthermore, he is “always in the chase mode,” always wooing you, openly or
subtly.
He is always chasing you because you have made yourself
into a “high-value woman,” one any self-confident man would want.
“BUILD IT AND THEY WILL COME”
Like creating that mythical professional baseball field in
the movie, The Field of Dreams, if
you have made yourself a “high-value” woman, you will attract “high-value” men,
and you’ll avoid the Users, Losers, and Snoozers.
Questions
Are
you or a friend dating? How are you distinguishing User, Loser, and Snoozer
from Mr. Right?
Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D., is a former Harvard science professor. He still publishes, and he helps others write and publish their books via his business website, http://WriteYourBookWithMe.com. His life's central theme has been his half-century romance with his wife, Tina Su Cooper, now quadriplegic for thirteen years due to multiple sclerosis, receiving 24/7 nursing care at home, as discussed in his latest book.
First published here:
http://sixtyandme.com/stop-dating-mr-wrong-after-60-how-to-recognize-the-users-losers-and-snoozers/
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
REVIEW of WEED OUT THE USERS...
If you’re somewhere between 15 and 70, you are likely to be
dating or know someone who is. This book is for those women who hope to find
Mr. Right among a multitude of Mr. Wrongs. And those of us who like to advise them..
Drawing on his experience of two decades of counseling and
advising, during which he has written some 20 books, relationship guru Gregg
Michaelsen describes three families of the Wrong clan (Users, Losers, Snoozers),
and contrasts them with Mr. Right, a man you can link up with, if you are at
your best.
Users are con men, glib, with an eye for your weaknesses,
initially all you could ask for, but quickly asking for more than they give,
more than you want to supply. Generosity goes down to stinginess. Attention
fades to inattention.
He’ll continue to date others. You'll do him favors, but get
little in return. His conversation centers around him and his interests, not yours.
In the extreme, he is a narcissist. The world, including you, is to revolve
around him.
“Time heals all wounds,” the saying goes. Turned around as,
“time wounds all heels,” this applies here. Go slow with the User, and he’ll show his
true colors.
The Loser is a parasite, not a partner. He won’t commit. He
may think he wants a committed relationship; you may hope so, but it is not likely
to happen.
An acquaintance of mine “invested” about five years with a
loser, mostly a waste of time. Dropping him opened up space for her to get a better
man.
Michaelsen suggests a four-date test sequence: meet his
friends; have him meet with your friends; let him drink too much, while you
stay sober; meet his family. Observe, judge, act. You are weeding, making room in
your garden.
If he does marry you, you’d be better off single. When you
need him, he’ll be elsewhere. If you blame him, you’ll only waste your time; he
plays the Victim expertly.
Michaelsen writes that two other types hold promise, the
Snoozer, and Mr. Right.
Snoozer can be transformed, trained, to become a Mr. Right.
Michaelsen writes, however, that Snoozers are inconsistent. To transform one, you must wield carrot and stick, praise for good behavior, withdrawal for
bad, like training a puppy. Effective, though not romantic.
Here is Michaelsen’s Mr. Right: “He takes 100% responsibility…. the
opposite of the victim mentality.” He has goals and plans, enthusiasm, respect
for others, reliability…and, furthermore, he is always wooing you, openly or
subtly.
He is always chasing you, because you have made yourself
into a “high-value woman,” one any self-confident man would want.
I found this book informative and entertaining. You don’t
have to be a woman to get a lot out of it. For a man, it could help you become a Mr. Right.
###
Here's the link to the book on amazon.com: Weed Out the Users
###
I write, coach, and edit through my business at
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
REVIEW of SELF-MADE AUTHORITY
![Self-Made Authority: How to Position Yourself As The "Go To Person" In Your Field and Catapult your Business Beyond the Competition by [Momeni, Oliver]](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51ijJLF46DL.jpg)
Most of us would like to be recognized as authorities. I
know I would. I help people write and publish their books, but so do lots of
others. I hope that this book will give me the tools to have a more
successful Internet-based business, once I do the work.
Oliver Momeni has distilled his twenty-plus years of entrepreneurship
into this highly readable introduction to Internet marketing, with an emphasis
on the value of webinars and the relative ease in preparing and presenting
them. His web site features his book, several courses, and about a dozen
helpful blogs, with the focus on presenting effective webinars. His book provides
a link to a free training program as well.
In a little more than one hundred pages, this useful and
encouraging book goes well beyond webinars. Its somewhat grandiose subtitle
tells us How to Position Yourself as the
Go-To Person in Your Field & Catapult Your Business Beyond the Competition.
It starts with the story of his near-death illness a decade ago that cost him
his marriage and made him think seriously about both success and “giving back”
to others who want to succeed.
He covers the following topics: having something to say that
others want to know, mastering the Internet, marketing basics, social media,
other tools, webinars, YouTube, Google hangouts, podcasting, Kindle books,
expert interviews, and coaching. Ideally, you would use all of these, starting
with Facebook and your own web page.
Like any persuasive salesman, he then addresses our likely
objections and our “misconceptions,” such as hoping to build an online business
overnight, finding that “magic pill,” ignoring Search Engine Optimization
(SEO), fearing the building of a website, believing you can’t do your own webinar,
refusing to invest in your own success, giving up on developing an email
contacts list. Since he will be selling us his webinar training programs as
well as his book, he is not a disinterested, objective observer. On the other hand, he seems sincerely
interested in helping others succeed, and his personal story and his
willingness to correspond with newbies makes it plausible that he really intends
to have his students succeed as he has.
I’ve been on the Internet for decades (remember Compuserve?)
and using it for my little business for six years, and I found that this little
book offered much information I did not know, especially about: online seminar
development and presentation, Google hangouts, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter,
Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest and (new to me) Snapchat). And there’s more, as
the commercials say: podcasting, Kindle publishing (I do this), expert interviews,
publishing articles, paid advertising, selling, freelancing, and (I don’t do
this) even ghostwriting.
Momeni covers each topic well enough to get you started,
encouraging you along the way. If I wanted to work this hard, I’d have gotten
out of my pajamas. Only kidding. Fine book, a Kindle bargain.
***
My coaching-editing-writing site: http://WriteYourBookWithMe.com
Sunday, November 12, 2017
RETIREMENT? NO. REFIREMENT! "Staying Connected"
Section
8
As we have put it - One of the dangers that
faces you is disconnection; or to
put it another way, isolation. There’s
a bitter irony to this; you will be at your most vulnerable, most reliant upon
others since your infancy, but somehow or other - and we have all witnessed it,
maybe even within our own families - connection tends to wane at this time.
Bonds are tested to their absolute extreme. The become responsibilities, and
can become obligations. Burdens.
You
and Those Closest To You
A common misstep with the elderly is to rely
heavily upon their closest circle, hoping them to fulfil other angles of social
life. Such a relationship sets up an opportunity
for disappointment, because there are different forms of conversation we
may be eager to have, and not all of them are appropriate for all listeners!
What’s more is the strain this can put on
relationships. Becoming emotionally reliant on one person asks a lot of them,
and what would be worse than resorting to manipulating one we love?
If you feel lonely, stop and ask yourself: what
has your strategy for enticing other been? Are you making an effort to meet
them half-way, literally and figuratively? Are you doing your best to listen,
as well as talk? Are you allowing people full autonomy, or just moaning people
into spending time with you?
Finding
Community
There is evidence that the number of groups
that a person is a member of is a unique predictor of self-esteem, resilience
and mental health. [17]
Maybe it’s nothing as dramatic as loneliness as
such, maybe it’s just the feeling that you haven’t expressed yourself verbally
in a while. Whatever it is, this feeling can sneak up on you, and by the time
it has done you’re in a bad place.
Especially in Western, increasingly secular
societies, there is a real lack of community. Many of us never meet our neighbours,
let alone actually speak to them. We have disregarded rituals as silly, but
when nothing has taken their place we have an uncomfortable silence.
Whether you believe in a higher power or not,
church and Bible studies are a great way to socialize.
If there is no existing community for the
specific things you are interested in, it is now easier than ever to start your
own. Computer literacy is a must. Reach
out to people or create a ‘space’ for them. Interact. See what happens.
You may even decide to share your thoughts through
a blog or a vlog.
I suspect we all have someone in our life who
in old age appears to be grumpy, and reclusive. I’d like to suggest that
perhaps this is what happens to something as simple as shyness; when a person
has never learned to say hello.
And this isn’t simple.
But the crucial thing to know is that everyone else feels like that. Truly
extroverted people are actually quite rare.
The natural way of finding a community and social
partners is to not go out explicitly looking for them. They are something best
hunted for obliquely, as in, go and
do something you care about, and let the someones introduce themselves or tag
along as they please. Then you and the people you interact with are bound to
have something talk over. A common starting place.
Case
Study: Paul
From early on in his life Paul
was known to be a gifted speaker. He could get his friends laughing, and then
through university he realised that he made a good centre to a dinner table.
People just listened. Naturally enough, he landed a job in sales, a position
that funded a secure life for himself, his wife and his children. It was his
favourite thing to talk about. (Even if people were bored of hearing about it.)
When it became obvious to him
that he could no longer stand working for his boss, he decided to withdraw his
talents, but he began to see that he only had so much time on Earth, and began
to prioritize.
What he regretted most of all was
not bearing present for his children as they were growing up. At the time, he
reasoned that he had paid for the house, and that that should be his role - but
now there were grandchildren, and he suddenly realised that he wanted to make
it up to himself, and spend time with them.
In time, though, he felt a
nagging. He certainly had talent that was dying to be expressed. His wife at
first recommended that Paul get these thoughts in a book, but Paul never liked
being sat at a desk - his talent had always been his voice.
It was around this time that
podcasting became a thing, although Paul could barely understand the concept at
first. He had the idea of just recording a seminar he used to give into his
headset - if only for his own curiosity - but he found after posting it on a
forum that people were asking him very interesting questions - and that his
answers only generated more interest.
Soon people were saying he could
just compile his forum posts and blog entries into a book (with the help of an
outsourced editor).
The
Question:
What obstacles are
impeding you from easily capitalizing upon your strengths and interests?
If it’s simply
inefficient to learn a whole new alien skill, who could you rely upon for
help in this area?
|
***
This is the continuation of a serialization of this new ebook on active retirement, by Ugandan Petero Wamala and American Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D., which ebook is available through amazon.com for $0.99:
Sunday, November 5, 2017
RETIREMENT? NO. REFIREMENT! "Questions and a Case Study"
Routine
and Daily Questions
These are a key part of the process - they keep
us on track, and make the journey manageable.
We need to build into our routine a time in our
day that we ask ourselves the following:
Basic Questions
Did I do my best to...? (Score between 1-10):
1. Find
meaning and purpose?
2. Build
positive relationships (including with family)?
3. Provide
my clients with value?
4. Be
open and to encourage luck and randomness?
5. Review
the key three outcomes for the year, month, week and day? Did I do my best to
execute yesterday’s actions to achieve my outcomes?
6. What
are my three outcomes for tomorrow? What am I going to do to achieve them?
7. Play,
have fun and give my clients the opportunity to do so?
8. Make
the very best of whatever happens?
(If you want to start small, start with
questions 5 and 6.)
Questions of Routine
Did I do my best to…? (Score between 1-10):
1. Maintain
healthy eating habits and to stay on track to achieve (target weight) by the
end of (date)?
2. Complete
my 15 minute hard exercise routine 4 x a week?
3. Complete
my 20 minutes meditation daily 3 x a week?
4. Complete
Lumosity training / Listen to a Bandler CD/MP3?
5. Complete
my stretch workout 3 x a week?
6. Complete
my 5 people-that-I-appreciate exercise (what I see, hear, feel) daily?
7. Complete
my 5 experiences-that-I-appreciate exercise. (what I see, hear, feel) daily?
8. Remind
myself of my priorities for the year, month and week. Decide my key three
priorities for the following day?
9. Ensure
high quality sleep?
Note – Please note that I’ve developed these in
line with my own particular plans and values. If you’re going to do the
exercise it’s worth developing what works for who you are and what you want to
do.
Additional Questions
Did I do my best to:
1. Choose
success?
2. Choose
to add value to my clients, family and friends?
3. Choose
health (purpose, exercise, food, meditation, sleep)?
4. Choose
to embrace the full catastrophe of life?
Case Study: William
William worked as a visual artist and graphic
designer, fighting for years as a freelancer, and sometimes enduring company work
for projects both boring (corporate calendars) and exciting (designing the
layout of local playgrounds.)
Although he was younger than most - mid-fifties
- he decided that it wasn’t worth continuing on the treadmill of demand; it
seemed like all of his money was going on new technology and all of his free
time went into learning new skills. After a bout of repetitive stress injury (RSI)
coincided with a death in the family, he decided to take a break, but the
graphics industry is legendarily ruthless, and once a person steps out of the
flow of demand, it’s very difficult to ever ‘get back on the horse.’
He was feeling defeated one day and visited a
playground he had designed, beside which was a large football/cricket pitch
that was being maintained – and he remembered a young man that used to visit
his grandmother and help to mow the lawn; he would talk to William in a funny
way that he appreciated - that man seemed to be so at peace with himself.
It only occurred to William now that the man
was a volunteer.
William now mows the lawns for his elderly
neighbours, and although he is not as young as the man he had once met,
whenever he talks to the neighbour’s grandson, he feels there is some sort of
symmetry in his life.
The
Question:
Are there any events
in the back of your mind that inspire you to do something constructive? What
memories could you draw from to give you a sort of symmetry now?
|
***
This is the continuation of a serialization of this new ebook on active retirement, by Ugandan Petero Wamala and American Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D., which ebook is available through amazon.com for $0.99:
https://www.amazon.com/RETIREMENT-NO-REFIREMENT-surviving-continuing-ebook/dp/B06XV52HPQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490748919&sr=8-1&keywords=retirement%3F+no%2C+refirement%21
Would-be authors are invited to see my site
http://WriteYourBookWithMe.com.
Would-be authors are invited to see my site
http://WriteYourBookWithMe.com.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)