From FRUSTRATED WITH LIFE, Ch. 7, "Weird"

“Do you like Kipling?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never kippled.”

"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."

C. S. Lewis

“Without bacon, life is just lettuce and tomatoes.”

WEIRD Statistic

From livescience.com (2012): in your lifetime, your chance of being hit by junk falling from outer space is less than 1 in a billion.

Chapter 7:
Weird

You think you have trouble? #447 is “tired of my D-cup tits.” She’s tired of having to refrain from vulgar language…and tired of not being heard.

Move the letters of “weird” around, and you get “wired.” #303 has a bi-polar brother so tightly wired, he’s driving the rest of the family nuts.

Two contributors have school trouble: one changed to a better college only to find it was too hard. Another feels brainwashed at the university.

Perhaps the winner of the most-weird award is the martial artist, #133, who loves to hear bones crack and looks forward to choking his (we assume it’s a guy) opponent into submission.

Given the outlandish year of the presidential election of 2016, it is hard to find normality against which to judge weird, but some of these bloggers clearly qualify.

Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D.

#21

this woman I know is a wack job, shes jealous and crazy and she stalks everyone on facebook too.. she really needs to get a life and mental help for her issues.

#65

this is a really great site.....just reading other ppl's frustations i feel my frustration lightening.....i was hell frustrated with my life...liked nothing around me....i felt like i am a burden on earth..neither can i stay happy myself nor can i make anybody else happy or even let the ppl around me stay happy...i have loads of friends..close n good ones too..but now i just feel i am overburdening them with my problems..problems with absolutely no problem....they must be thinking i am a total moron...tired of me...i want to stay happy but something or the other just keeps coming up n disrupts me...it seems i just cant be happy..as if happiness is a temporary state of mind.

#92

I got tipsy and really imbelished the truth. It wasn’t a lie. I’m a dramatic person but it made me feel uncomfortable since my coworker was sitting there and knew I was exaggerating. Ugh! She probably could careless but I obsess and mull over things I say. Why do I have to be so analytical about myself and why do I mull over it??

#94

So people call me a complainer... But doesn’t everyone complain? I can’t say that I do it insistently. I guess I’m just an easy target because I don’t hold back. I also think I’m entitled to things that should be across the board. I am really fed up this week. I need a vacation from life!!!

#117

my colleague she is ...strange...very strange wonder if she’s allien...ish.

#133

I am so frustrated with the direction my life is going in, I cannot get into higher education, I have a learning disability, and no one is hiring in my field of study so I cannot prove my work ethic. I am a martial artist and the only joy in life I have is hurting others, physically. I love to feel the crack of bones when I strike. I love to see my opponent on the ground gasping for air after I have delivered a precise shot. I want to choke them out until I hear a gurgle or a faint choking noise. I want to watch the limp collision of their limbs to the mat. But I hold it back sometimes. My heart races and i get shaky just thinking about it, like now. All the frustration, anger, hatred and failure i have in my life momentarily disappears.

#296

I am weird. I used to be popular bcos I suppressed the real me and i wasnt happy. Now I let it out I have no frenz or any men who loves me for who I am ( I'm hard to love, I'm insane, obsessed with fault finding) .

I used to refused to admit I was depressed , being chronically ill with disease that is as grave as cancer. Now I indulge in my antidepressant that takes me to another world of vivid dreams and I slept 14 to 16 hours through, missing my meetings at work.

I don't know how to handle my life anymore. I just want to run. I went for vacations and the whole wide world thinks I'm happy person. They didn't know this was a facade I put up for others and myself, running away from problems, only to come home and face larger problems.... Debts and more debts.

I'm in the rat race. Tired weak and old. No, I'm only 30 years old. Already shitting in my own pants all the time.

Just a matter of time that I m getting fired from my job to get into a much worse situation.

I'm a shit hole that was dug and created by my own hand... But wait I didn't ask to be born into this world, this family nor to suffer this fuck up and mess up disease that mess my health and mind all the fucking time.

No I didn't choose to come to this world. God have grace on me and take me away from this world into another land, free from sufferings.

#303

I`m so frustrated about life i have a brother who is bi polar

who has emotional problems

(he`s 26 )

i live next to him i mean literally i share a room with him

(i`m 21)

it sucks because of the way he acts because of his condition i cant even sleep,eat,have company over because im afraid he`s going to blow a tantrum right infront of company and make things uncomfortable.

everytime any of us(my mother, brothers ,family etc) make any movements(walking,talking loudly,laughing,watching tv etc at home) My Bi polar brother gets up and starts blasting his music really loud and starts mumbling gibberish to everysong,if he`s not doing that he gets up and starts talking to himself in frustration and then starts screaming in anger(this has been going on for years)yes we have been trying to get him help but HE refuses,we try`d telling him in every possible way to stop acting that way be he still continues to do it just to get us upset ,im pissed and frustrated because it has effected my family and i BIG TIME, we barley can concentrate on anything,especially me,i try holding it in like it doesnt effect me but it does ,since i have so much anger inside of me ,i take that attitude to work and around people, thats why i think i dont have no friends ,girlfriend because of it,im usually quiet around people and stuck in my own head most of the time which sucks ,people dont realize why i have this mean attitude but i think it mostly has to do for that particular reason,i dont feel free ,i feel trapped,i dont feel suicidal because i feel like thats the punk way to go,but i feel like screaming ,exploding like a ticking time bomb,all i want is a simple life,car people to hangout laugh with,travel,etc is that to much to ask for???

#335

i just took admission in a new college by leaving my old college but it turned out to be by far the most worst decision in my life.i am failing in every paper in the exam i just appeared for ,while my old college set easy papers and where i cud easily pass.i regret leaving my college and now i am frustrated,guilt trapped,angry,dont knw wer to go.i just wish i cud go back in time and change my decision.being an average student in academics this is gonna be a huge blow on my career.i m screwed and will hav to take a year off and start again to which my dad wont agree.i m just done.this never really happened before..this is frustrating..

#355

At 50 life gets interesting...or boring should I say. This is getting beyond me to understand what to plan. Secure what you have or go after new ones. Time and life only could tell if I made my choices right... IT would be wonderful if we can all do simple life and not live by threats...

#360

Ah life has been so comfortable for me....bt i m lonely....i m 20 n i get people who r least interested in me... no Bf n i hav a fren who gets more attention then me. where as i feel she is nt worth it. I get frustrated every single day since my fren over takes me by stepping on the steps i made n takes credit in every thing,i dnt know y we r frenz as i know she is too nt interested in me...i think she is using me for her motive. i try to be positive every day bt i feel she is taking all my loved ones away from me!! i m so frustrated wit my life that i m so lonely n cnt express it to any 1.... :-(

#386

Sometimes I’m just like fuck everything! But then I can’t seem to fuck anything!!! fuckkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!! fuck you fuck this i want to fucking die! I want to scream i want to hurt i do hurt! fuckkkk

#447

I’m tired. At the tender of age of 29 i feel tired. I feel aged and gray. I feel as if my prime has passed both physically and mentally. I dont ever want a kid so im really tired of hearing people say i need a kid. I have kids....about 180 at the high school and about another 30 with tutoring. im tired of my d-cup tits. They are heavy and have become the only way a man will listen to me. Im tired of shaving my fucking legs, waxing my ass and grooming my face so that i dont look like Frida Khalo although she was fucking cool! Im tired of living with someone for 5 years who still cant tell when i want to fuck....what the fuck is right. Im tired on the gun violence in America, the threat alerts from school. Im tired of Trump and Hillary. Im tired of America behaving like a teenage girl with others countries on foreign affair and random shootings happening within like an untimely oral herpes outbreak. Im tired of hating Kardashian for being successful for no reason, or wishing Malala wasnt so fucking forgiving. Im tired of Trevor Noah on the Daily Show...i miss Jon ::sad face:: Im tired of waking up everyday and playing robot. Make breakfast, take a poop, shower up, go to work/school, come home and have dinner...poop again. Im tired of no gluten, or cheese, or sugar in my food. Im tired of having to refrain from vulgar language....

Im tired of not being heard..

#448

Iam really frustrated with the worldview that has been formed through the thorough and subtle brainwashing of us as a whole.

Iam a college student and unfortunately the system accepts anxiety stress and all that comes with it as a normal occurrence.

I know for deep down that this is not the way life works.

This fact and the obligation of having to fit in with a group of people in the university,whose ideas and ambitions I do not share kills me slowly everyday.

I need help..

Recommended Books

F. Day (2015)
You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost): A Memoir

C. Groeschel (2011)
Weird: Because Normal Isn’t Working

B. Keephimattracted and B. Nox (2016)
F*ck Him – Nice Girls Always Finish Single

###

Excerpted from Guzman and Cooper (2017), FRUSTRATED WITH LIFE? YOU ARE NOT ALONE! based on years of blog entries at http://FrustratedWithLife.com. The book is available in paperback at amazon.com.

Would-be authors are invited to see my site WriteYourBookWithMe.com.

RETIREMENT? NO, REFIREMENT! "Purpose"

Section 5

Purpose

Our purpose and the meaning we give to our lives make a significant difference to our health, how we feel, how we perform and how we bounce back from the challenges that life throws at us. This is potentially even more important as we reach retirement and the latter period of our lives.

Our purpose may be large. We may want to bring peace to the world, or it may be much smaller. We may want to make the lives of our pets happier or ensure our houseplant is cared for. It’s not size that matters, it’s about how much what we choose relates to what’s really important to us as individuals.

Discovering what’s really important to us may be a life-time challenge. It often requires work, and many people don’t get round to it until they reach a certain age. When we approach retirement, we may have a final chance to clarify what we’re really about. Even as far as to create a story about our lives that we’re genuinely proud to tell our children and grandchildren. 

We’ve included some exercises to help you to connect to what’s really important to you. It’s one of those things that you have to do yourself. No one can do it for you!

(This is one of those exercises that looks easy; however, when done properly, it encourages us to think deeply. Often it’s useful to ask a coach to take us through it, so we can concentrate on the content rather than the process.)

1.   What’s important to you about the people you know?

To each answer ask yourself, ‘what does that get me?’, and to that answer ask again, ‘what does that get me?’

2.   What’s important to you about yourself?

To each answer ask yourself, ‘what does that get me?’, and to that answer ask again, ‘what does that get me?’

3.   What’s important to you about your environment? Feel free to add anything that been missed out from questions 1 and 2

To each answer ask yourself, ‘what does that get me?’, and to that answer ask again, ‘what does that get me?’

4.   Write all your answers from 1, 2, and 3. Prioritise them.

Pick the first 1, 2 or 3. Imagine that you were achieving them to the very best of your abilities at a specific time in the future. Do you feel good? If so why not make them a priority?

 

Case Study: Joan 

---

Coming from a rich family Joan never had to work, and was instead able pursue her various hobbies: music, swimming, and even mountaineering and hunting, although Joan found that she didn’t enjoy killing of animals. Joan began smoking in her twenties when her husband introduced her to having a cigarette after meals. She continued the habit for most of her life, but it never seemed an addiction as it did with others - one or two a day seemed enough for her.

She would wake at eight each morning and would have sometimes only a coffee or hot chocolate for breakfast.

In time, she had a daughter, and at 36 this daughter died - Joan was heartbroken, but persevered. 

She continued drinking coffee for breakfast, and eating beef for lunch, frequently with pudding - she loved chocolate throughout her life. She moved into a nursing home, where it was noticed that she moved faster than the others, despite her blindness. She fixed some of her own meals. - each morning, asking God in a prayer, spoken aloud, why she was chosen to continue living so long.

At 85, she took up fencing.

(Spoiler Alert: The details above actually come from the life of Jeanne Calment, the longest living human being, at 122 years.)

The Question:

What facets of Joan/Jeanne’s attitude and lifestyle do you think contributed to her longevity? Do you think sometimes indulging can be healthier than restricting?

This is the continuation of a weekly serialization of this new ebook on active retirement, by Wamala and Cooper, which book is available through amazon.com for $0.99: 

https://www.amazon.com/RETIREMENT-NO-REFIREMENT-surviving-continuing-ebook/dp/B06XV52HPQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490748919&sr=8-1&keywords=retirement%3F+no%2C+refirement%21

Would-be authors are invited to see my site
http://WriteYourBookWithMe.com.

Tina's Recovery Updates

Background: My quadriplegic, ventilator-dependent [multiple sclerosis] wife, Tina Su Cooper, suffered prolonged seizures Monday night, July 10th. She spent the next eleven days in Orange Regional Medical Center (ORMC) battling the seizures and infections. She was sent home Friday, July 21st, unconscious (vegetative state or minimal consciousness) but medically stabilized. She had been unresponsive in the hospital. Her recovery was in serious doubt.

I'll record here some highlights of her recovery here at home/hospital as they occur:

04 August: awake more and somewhat more aware, yet still fighting a minor infection, Tina is scheduled to return home tomorrow, Saturday, 5 August.

02 August: still mostly sleeping. Barely aware when awake. Weaned off valproic acid, now on higher Keppra dose plus dilantin...anti-seizure meds.  Possibly going home tomorrow (Thursday) or Friday. Blood pressure and pulse rate rather variable, partly controlled by meds. Mild fever not being treated at present, to avoid conflicting drug effects.


01 August: condition unchanged.  Low body temperature ascribed to valproic acid (Depakene) anti-seizure medicine.

31 July: Tina mostly sleeping at ORMC. When awake, barely responsive. No cause determined yet for low body temperature. No infection. CAT scan negative. Possibly reaction to anti-seizure meds. Fluctuating blood pressure stabilized with med.

30 July: Tina back to ORMC Critical Care Unit. Temperature of 92oF at 11 p.m. indicated infection. 

29 July: We spent a half-hour watching TV together in the kitchen this afternoon. As I silently drew close to give Tina some more kisses, she mouthed the words, "I love you."

28 July: Nurse Melissa Brengard bathed Tina this morning, 
"Thank you," Tina responded, smiling. 
MB: "How are you?"
T: "Fine, fine, fine."
MB: "How many children do you have?" 
T: "Two." 
MB: "What are their names?" 
T: "Ted, Phil." 

27 July: Night Nurse Audrey Pottinger asks Tina how she is doing. She replies, "Not so well," then, "fine, fine, fine." [Video shared by email.] Tina out of bed in wheelchair for 30 minutes. "Do you want to watch the Food Channel or Home and Garden?" I asked. "Either one," she replied. Opened mouth on request for tooth brushing and suctioning. Some smiles. 

Came across the following story of a youth in what seemed to be a vegetative state that eventually resolved: 
http://healthskillet.com/this-man-was-trapped-in-his-body-for-13-years/ meanwhile, he was aware for much of this period. 

July 26th: awake longer, directing gaze at caregivers. Tried to speak in response to my, "I love you with all my heart...."

This, July 25th, afternoon, nurse Melissa Brengard greeted Tina and asked her how she was doing. "Better" Tina replied softly.

On Monday, 24 July, overnight, Tina said, "Thank you," in response to care being given by Nurse Audrey Pottinger.

On Sunday, 23 July, Tina frowned in response to being
moved in the bed by nurse Casey Partridge and myself.

The morning of Saturday, the 22nd, Tina surprised the nurse on duty (Melissa Brengard) by asking "How are you?" in response to greetings and conversation from Melissa.

On Jul 23, 2017, at 1:54 PM, Doug Cooper <dwcooper05@yahoo.com> wrote:

Dear Family and Friends,

Tina returned home via ambulance Friday night, the 21st.

ORMC had stabilized her condition. Final diagnosis was that she is in a vegetative state due to a brain infection with many days of seizures subsequent to the infection, which infection may or may not still be occurring.

 She mostly sleeps, with periods of wakefulness with doubtful responsiveness, except that this morning when the nurse, Melissa, spoke with her, Tina replied "How are you?" This is quite encouraging, and as the attached article indicates, this is more like "minimally conscious" than "vegetative state" and has some hope for a partial recovery of her former cognition and makes it likely that she has some awareness.  

It's great to have her home, and we were fortunate to have Phil and Ted here this weekend, to help and to encourage, as other members of the family have done recently.

I won't be emailing more updates unless something else dramatic occurs.

Thanks for your concern and love,

Doug (and Tina)

Minimally Conscious State - Brain, Spinal Cord, and Nerve Disorders - Merck Manuals Consumer Version

Minimally Conscious State - Brain, Spinal Cord, and Nerve Disorders - Merck... Learn about the causes, symptoms, diagnosis & treatment of Coma and Impaired Consciousness from the Home Ve...

Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D., 264 East Drive, Walden, NY 12586, (845) 778-4204

Author, freelance writer, book coach, caregiver and retired physicist. Rational idealist.

Sent: Wednesday, July 19, 2017 8:03 PM

Subject: Re: TINA HOSPITALIZATION, 19 July 17

Dear Family and Friends,

ORMC expects to release Tina to our home tomorrow (Thursday, 20 July) afternoon.

The have stabilized her condition, and her various vital signs and blood component values are within normal limits. However, she will be getting 10 to 20 times the seizure- suppressant medication, Keppra, than she was getting at home.  She is mostly sleeping and when awake seems unaware of her surroundings, although she has shown a bit more facial activity these past couple of days than earlier in her hospitalization.

The MRI a few days ago indicated some brain damage, some encephalitis, but the assays of her cerebral-spinal fluid showed no bacterial or viral activity, and  the antibiotics for these have been discontinued.

The cause of the seizures might be MS, although only a few percent of MS victims have these. The cause may have been low sodium in the blood, which even when addressed, left her more susceptible to follow-on seizures.

We hope to make her comfortable at home and perhaps be blessed by healing of her brain.

Thank you for your continuing love and concern...and prayers. 

With love,

Doug (and Tina)

Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D., 264 East Drive, Walden, NY 12586, (845) 778-4204

Author, freelance writer, book coach, caregiver and retired physicist. Rational idealist.

---

Sent: Saturday, July 15, 2017 6:22 PM
Subject: Re: TINA HOSPITALIZATION, 15 July 17

Phil and Lisa visited today and we saw Tina and the staff

at Orange Regional Medical Center (ORMC). She is asleep, seemingly peacefully, almost all the time. When she is awake, she is unresponsive, perhaps unaware, though the EEG indicates brain activity and some sub-clinical seizures  

They are treating various problems, including an apparent brain infection that may be the cause of the continuing seizures, which unfortunately are themselves likely to be ding some damage. Treating a viral brain infection could take weeks, some of which she will likely be at home. ORMC have been able to reduce the anti-seizure medications, which may mean they are making progress with the brain infection.

We don't know what degree of awareness Tina will end up with, but for now we are continuing to urge aggressive treatment. 

With our love,

Doug

Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D., 264 East Drive, Walden, NY 12586, (845) 778-4204

Author, freelance writer, book coach, caregiver and retired physicist. Rational idealist.

---

Subject: Re: TINA HOSPITALIZATION, 12 July 17

Tina has been "unresponsive" since Monday night, whether asleep or seemingly awake. She is experiencing almost continuous seizures, which are both symptoms of some brain damage and the cause of some increased damage.  The cause of the seizures is unknown. She had been given a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) late this afternoon to sample the cerebral-spinal fluid for possible evidence of infection of the brain, and she is getting an anti-viral medication (acyclovir) even before we get the results of the analysis of the spinal fluid. Tina is receiving four different seizure-suppressing meds now, and she has received several anti-bacterial antibiotics for the UTI, The pneumonia diagnosis is now believed mistaken (x-ray artifact). 

I just got a call from one of our nurses. She told me that the doctor that did the spinal tap a few hours ago commented that the fluid was yellow, rather than clear, a sign of infection, and that "this problem has been brewing a long time," without specifying how long. CAT scan ruled out tumor. MS is a possible cause, but not much can be done if that is it. An infection, on the other hand, is often treatable, so this may be good news. 

Because of the continuing seizures and the escalation of efforts to stop them and yet preserve critical processes, Tina's life is in jeopardy, but this latest information

is somewhat encouraging.

Thank you all for your concern and prayers.

Love,

Doug 

Sent: Tuesday, July 11, 2017 11:09 AM

Subject: TINA HOSPITALIZATION

Tina developed seizures last night. Not life-threatening, but worrisome. Our GP recommended we send

her to the hospital. She is at Orange Regional Medical Center, ICU Room 3309. As usual,

we have one of our nurses there to supplement the hospital staff and facilitate communication.

Diagnosis: urinary tract infection, possible pneumonia. CAT scan of brain was negative: no problems. 

Typically, they try to get her home in a few days. 

We don't use phone mail, but you can reach me either at home or at my cell phone number, 914 450 1754.

Love,

Doug