GOOD GRIEF, "Funeral Choices"

Keep in mind that these are very personal choices, some of which may have been preplanned, while others are determined on an emergent basis. It is important to have a knowledgeable family or friend go with you when you meet with the funeral director. I have listed some of the choices you will be faced with during this time. The funeral parlor I used had a nice check-off list that made it clear what services were available.

Choice of funeral home	Family history of use	Recommended by others	Unknown
Type of funeral	Traditional with coffin and cemetery burial	Cremation with urn or scatter ashes	Home Funeral; Other
Type of service	Traditional viewing	Private viewing	Memorial
Clergy involvement	Church service	Gravesite service	Memorial service
Burial container	Coffin style and cost	Urn style and cost	Other
Burial site	Local cemetery: ground or mausoleum	Military cemetery	Urn; body donated to science; other
Flowers (often donated afterward)	Funeral parlor	Cemetery	None; donation to charity in lieu of flowers
Obituary	What to include	Cost	How to disseminate
Sign-in book	On podium	On table	Who keeps
Prayer cards	Choice of card	Number of cards	Where to display

Speaker tributes	Family	Friends	Work associates
Music or singing	Who will sing	Who picks music	What kind of music
Photo tribute or video	Choice	Who to create	Who to remove
Communication regarding events	Who’s in charge	Who needs to know	Method to disseminate information
Post-event gathering	Who coordinates	Where to occur	Catered or closed dishes brought
Other costs	Number of attendants from funeral parlor	Accessories used by funeral parlor	Hidden costs

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With her permission, I am serializing here nurse Cheryl Barrett's valuable book on transcending grief. I had the pleasure of being her coach and editor through my Write Your Book with Me enterprise. 

Douglas Winslow Cooper, PhD