Tuesday, May 1, 2018


Fear is a gift? 

Wisely used, yes, according to author of The Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker, who strongly distinguishes worry about possible future events that are largely unpredictable, versus fear in a hazardous situation one finds oneself in, which feeling can make one take immediate, essential steps to reduce the hazard.

The book deals primarily with danger to us caused by others, ranging from family members to business associates to strangers who have become fixated on us. The author’s decades of experience in the personal protection field add stories to statistics to produce a highly informative book, well worth reading.

Two most important messages are: first, listen to your instincts, gut feelings, intuition when assessing whether or not you are in danger, and when in doubt, get out; second, although a messed-up childhood is not sufficient to create a serial killer, it seems it is necessary to do so. Pay attention to such people. 

Stay away from those who might harm you.

Avoidance is key to your safety. You can’t get bitten by sharks if you stay out of the ocean.

Stalkers fixate on their victims. The best response in most cases is to refuse to interact with them. DeBecker gives case studies of attempts to discourage such nuisances, where orders of protection and even punishment only led to escalation.

If you know the signs the author gives, you can be more confident in dealing with those who might present threats. The stories he relates make distinguishing danger from safety much easier.



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