Fear is a gift?
Wisely used, yes, according to author of The Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker, who strongly
distinguishes worry about possible future events that are largely
unpredictable, versus fear in a hazardous situation one finds oneself in, which feeling
can make one take immediate, essential steps to reduce the hazard.
The book deals primarily with danger to us caused by
others, ranging from family members to business associates to strangers who
have become fixated on us. The author’s decades of experience in the personal
protection field add stories to statistics to produce a highly informative
book, well worth reading.
Two most important messages are: first, listen to your
instincts, gut feelings, intuition when assessing whether or not you are in
danger, and when in doubt, get out; second, although a messed-up childhood is
not sufficient to create a serial killer, it seems it is necessary to do so.
Pay attention to such people.
Stay away from those who might harm you.
Avoidance is key to your safety. You can’t get bitten by
sharks if you stay out of the ocean.
Stalkers fixate on their victims. The best response in most
cases is to refuse to interact with them. DeBecker gives case studies of
attempts to discourage such nuisances, where orders of protection and even punishment only led to escalation.
If you know the signs the author gives, you can be more
confident in dealing with those who might present threats. The stories he
relates make distinguishing danger from safety much easier.
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