[WILL APPEAR IN CONNECT, ON-LINE INTERNATIONAL
JOURNAL OF CRITICAL CARE NURSING]
Ting and I: A Memoir of Love, Courage, and Devotion by Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D., with a Foreword by Dr. Richard Walker M.D. F.C.C. P.
Dr Cooper’s book Ting and I describes a very deep relationship between a man and woman that transcends what some would say is a 21st century marriage. This poignant story gives the reader insight into the “soul bonding” of a man and a woman. In today’s society love and marriage follows the route of boy meets girl, fall in love because of common interests, possibly similar backgrounds, equal aspirations of professional careers and family values. “Ting and I” deviate dramatically from this ethereal vision of the “perfect marriage” and present a much deeper bonding and relationship. Readers will be awed by the spiritual feeling they will experience as they assimilate the true meaning of Douglas and Ting’s binding love.
In contrast, the stark reality of the health care system rises to direct patient care based on “quality of life” issues. Most health care professional are focused on obtaining health care proxies, and living will declarations. These approaches inevitably lead to the establishment of “Do not resuscitate” order in the medical record. Ting and Douglas have struggled with this mentality throughout the book and describe instances where medical personnel assumed that because of her disabling condition no lifesaving procedures are to be instituted. Struggles like those Douglas and Ting have overcome are very difficult for the “day to day mindset “of the health care professional to understand and or support.
This book reads like the book Love Story, but with the harsh realities of how a couple deals with a catastrophic illness. Catastrophic illness is a taboo is our modern 21st society. It is something that “happens to others not me”. Yet, it happens all too frequently, and this story walks us through the “day to day” challenges of two kindred spirits intimately experiencing the dilemma.
“Ting and I” is a must-read for any health care professional. It presents the opposite side of what constitutes quality of life as described in medical and nursing textbooks. An “eye-opening” revelation into a symbiotic loving relationship in face of huge obstacles.
Patricia A. Burns, Ph.D., R.N. F.A.A.N
Professor of Nursing
University of South Florida
Tampa, Florida, USA
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