Saturday, March 16, 2019

GOOD GRIEF, Introductory Material

Praise for Good Grief
Recognizing grief and despair after loss are a matter of survival. Cheryl Barrett’s, Good Grief, can assist us to begin a healing journey and reweave the story and social fabric of life and community that have been changed forever. Barrett’s words help us touch our deepest soul’s wisdom that restores and generates the hope, courage, and vision needed to find a new way of being.
Barbara Dossey, PhD, RN, Author, Florence Nightingale: Mystic, Visionary, Healer; Holistic Nursing: A Handbook for Practice; and Nurse Coaching: Integrative Approaches for Health and Wellbeing.
Thank you, Cheryl, for sharing your story, your vulnerabilities, your challenges and your courage to renew in ways that all of us who have been through loss understand and feel in that deeper place of being. You connected us and made it real. The practical tips you shared to help others, I felt, creates a healing pathway in very simple terms, yet we know and acknowledge that the journey of grief is far from simplistic in nature. Your words allowed tears to surface, release and your humor made me smile.
Anah Aikman, NZRGON, NC-BC, Nurse Coach. The Road
Less Travelled at
“Cheryl has written a book from her heart bringing together her own experience of grief and loss after the sudden death of her husband of 46 years and her years as a nurse helping others at the end of the life of their loved ones. She gives very concrete help in how to surmount the challenges of the loss of a spouse including resources — all shared in such a comforting, loving, compassionate voice. I felt as if I was sitting with her in her living room.”
Kitt Racette, Grief Edu-Therapist, Grief Group facilitator.
Author, Elizabeth Where are you? A journey through Grief.
Avoiding the great loss of a loved one or dear friend escapes no one. From her own personal experience, Cheryl serves as a wonderful guide for others on the same journey. If you only adapt one or two of these strategies, you will move out of the darkness and into the light once again. Peace.
Brian Luke Seaward, PhD. Author, Stand Like Mountain, Flow Like Water and Stressed is Desserts Spelled Backward.
This book acts as not only a guide, but a testimony of overcoming grief. Cheryl is very real and sheds light on how grief can not only affect your emotional, but physical and social health as well. The reader can truly empathize with Cheryl’s story and is provided with many useful tools on how to deal with the devastating effects of grief with a holistic approach. I highly recommend this book to anyone struggling with grief and looking for a hand to hold to get through their situation.
Daniel Wilson, DC, Neurologically Based Chiropractor
Cheryl Barrett’s book, Good Grief, is a love story. It takes the reader’s hand step-by-step as one who has lost her husband, her other half, and begins to rebuild her life towards wholeness without him. It is an honest, open and sensitive exploration of her healing journey of transformation and resilience. With more than 30 years of experience as a registered nurse to draw from, she shares a variety of practical information to help others navigate the pain of such a loss and the courage to find hope and purpose. I recommend this book to anyone struggling with these issues as a resource to navigate…the journey from darkness and despair to hope, light and transformation.
Catherine Errico, MSN, HWNC-BC, HN-BC, Nurse Coach
After losing a loved one a year ago, my journey through the grieving process has been one of pain, loneliness and often despair. Cheryl's book Good Grief offers me inspiration, motivation and vision. A vision of healing and restoration. She provides guidance on restoring the mind, body and spirit while helping one to understand the uniqueness of their own journey. — Glenda Terry, RN, BS, NC-BC, Nurse Coach

Good Grief
Strategies For Building Resilience and Supporting Transformation All Rights Reserved.
Copyright © 2018 Cheryl A. Barrett, RN, MSN v1.0
The opinions expressed in this manuscript are solely the opinions of the author and do not represent the opinions or thoughts of the publisher. The author has represented and warranted full ownership and/or legal right to publish all the materials in this book.
This book may not be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or in part by any means, including graphic, electronic, or mechanical without the express written consent of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Outskirts Press, Inc.
ISBN: 978-1-4327-6566-8
Cover Photo © 2018 Cheryl A. Barrett.  All rights reserved - used with permission.
Outskirts Press and the “OP” logo are trademarks belonging to Outskirts Press, Inc.
This book is dedicated to my loving daughter, Bonnie Barrett, without whom I would not have survived. She has been by my side, sharing her
love, compassion, caring and outstanding sense of humor. And in memory of my husband, her father, Frederick Charles Barrett, Jr. (July 19, 1945 — September 1, 2014) — the love of my life.
Death is Nothing at All
Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you; whatever we were to each other, that, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used, put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we shared together.
Let my name ever be the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well.
Henry Scott Holland
(1847 - 1918)
Canon of St. Paul’s Cathedral, London

Table of Contents

Words of Gratitude

Gratitude, the state of feeling grateful, is a powerful concept and one of my most used tools in moving through grief and loss. I believe that expressing gratitude releases a tangible energy, expansive in nature, with infinite potential. When I express my gratitude, I am saying that I have a grateful attitude. It is an energetic change that becomes a part of me that I share with others creating a positive impact for both of us — the giver and the receiver. It is greater than the sum of its parts. Gratitude has been like a investment, the more I gave, the more I received.

I did not think this way at first. I could see nothing to express gratitude for during my journey through grief and loss. I often had to remind myself to find things, sometimes only one thing, to be grateful for. This changed over time as I wrote about my loss and received support and caring from others. I became filled from within as I found more and more things to be grateful for, more and more opportunities to express gratitude, and more and more people who expressed gratitude to me for sharing my story of loss and recovery.

This book is written in gratitude for everyone in my life and everyone yet to come into my life, as well as both the visible and invisible forces creating the oneness of all. I am grateful to those who have been on this journey with me — both near and far. Thank you for your support, guidance, presence, witness, comfort, sharing, caring and helping me heal.

I am grateful to God for His presence in my life, for His guidance and loving support. I never questioned my faith, but asked a lot of “whys.” This book was a work of love and healing inspired by faith, hope and the best of who we are as human beings.

My deepest and most sincere gratitude goes to my daughter, Bonnie Barrett, who has been by my side as she too journeyed through the grief and loss of her father. We are a team who have shared joy and sorrow, learned to forgive and to move forward confidently with strength and grace. I love you .

My humble gratitude and best wishes go to Brian Luke Seaward of Paramount Wellness for writing my foreword and supporting me through the book-writing process. He included two concepts that I could not find the right spot for in my book: reference to the stages of grief by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross and Joseph Campbell’s template for The Hero’s Journey. I first met Luke, in 2011, when I took his stress management instructor course. This course provided the stress management foundation which I repeatedly referred to for survival strategies on my own “Hero’s Journey” through grief and loss. A giant hug to you, Luke!

A special thank you to Douglas Winslow Cooper, my editor and firm believer as a “completionist.” This may not be a legitimate word, but presented a powerful challenge for me to complete my book and join the ranks of the “published.” I would still be writing and editing this book if not for his attention to detail and supportive push to the finish line! And much gratitude to Outskirts Press for guiding me through the publication process.

A gracious thank you to Barbara Dossey for welcoming me on the path to integrative nurse coaching and holding space for me to be all that I was meant to be. I learned not only how to coach others, but to practice coaching myself through difficult times “to find a new way of being.”
I am grateful to Bonney Gulino-Schaub and Richard Schaub for their support and guidance as I started my journey through grief and loss while attending their classes on transpersonal coaching. Much of my grief work was done using techniques from this class.
A heart-felt thank you and big bear hug to June Amarant, my dear friend, who lost her mother shortly before my loss. She has been my heart-companion throughout the grieving process. We have learned from, and supported each other. I am grateful that she asked me to be her mentor for her MSN in education. It gave me something to focus on and get outside of myself during a time when I just wanted to withdraw from life. Congratulations to us both, we made it!

Hugs and gratitude to two people who supported me on my quest for self-care, reviewing my book and providing encouragement to completion: Dr. Dan Wilson my chiropractor and Dr. John Kempter, my holistic dentist in NC.

Thank you to my colleagues, friends, and friends of friends who embraced my request to review and/or endorse my book. You provided the much-needed encouragement, validation and momentum to complete this project. Thank you, Anne Rowley from PA; Anah Ackman from New Zealand; Maureen Powers from AK; Kitt Racette from Canada; Margaret Schmidt from WI; and Catherine Errico from NJ.

Finally, but no less important, much gratitude to all the wonderful strangers who knowingly and unknowingly cared for me on my journey through grief and loss. You will always have a place in my heart.


With her permission, I will be serializing nurse Cheryl Barrett's valuable book on transcending grief. I had the pleasure of being her coach and editor through my Write Your Book with Me enterprise. 

Douglas Winslow Cooper, PhD

 Perhaps the easiest way to obtain a copy of her book is through this
Amazon link: 

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